


Taffy

by EmpressCactuar



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: A small amount of fluff, Angst, Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, Cigarettes, Gen, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, no happy ending, you could interpret parts as reibert if you want to
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-16
Updated: 2020-06-16
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:33:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24754018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmpressCactuar/pseuds/EmpressCactuar
Summary: “In my original home, far away, there was an old story my parents used to tell me. You write your wish on a piece of paper, then put it in a bottle. If the ocean washes it away, your wish will come true someday.”(Udo and Zofia meant a lot to Reiner)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 32





	Taffy

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I wanted to write something less shippy, and I absolutely adore Udo and Zofia so I wanted to write something with them. Alas this fic is not a happy one.   
> Unbeta'd, and written in about two-three hours so not my best work ^^;

“Reiner!” Reiner was smoking a cigarette and leaning back into the bench he’d been sitting on. He glanced to the side and saw two of the warrior candidates heading towards him. A smiled graced his features when the two of them made their way to him, one of them sitting on either side of him. Reiner tossed his cigarette onto the ground and crushed it underneath his foot. Each of them had a basket, both of them putting their baskets on the ground by the bench. 

“Udo. Zofia. What are you two doing here?” Reiner asked. He was watching the waves of the sea come onto the shore. The sun still hung high in the air. It’d been a very rare day off, so he’d been mindlessly not doing much of anything. Spent some time with Gabi and the rest of his family. Read a book. Daydreamed a little. Thought about Bertholdt, about Marcel and Annie. 

“We were bored so we decided to come to the beach.” Udo said, him adjusting his glasses. He took them off, and Reiner found his heart hurting at how much Udo resembled Bertholdt. He missed Bertholdt so, _so_ much and it felt like there was a void by his side. Udo put his glasses back on and looked at his mentor. “Are you okay, Reiner?” 

“Yes. I was just thinking.” Udo nodded, but Zofia decided to be as nosy as ever. 

“About what?” Zofia asked, Reiner noticing her giving him an expectant look. He smiled to himself and shook his head, then ruffled her hair. Zofia took out her ponytail and fixed her hair, then tied it back up. 

“…Nothing important.” Reiner shuddered a little at the implication to himself that Bertholdt wasn’t an important thought. Did it matter at this point? “What made you two come to the beach? What is it you have in your basket there, Udo?” 

“Oh, me and Zofia were going to have a little picnic on the beach, since it’s such a nice day today.” Udo and Zofia fidgeted for a moment and smiled at Reiner. “Do you want to hang out with us, Reiner?” Reiner smiled at that. Such sweet kids. At their age he had already knocked down Wall Maria and was living on Paradis with Annie and Bertholdt. He’d killed countless civilians and the thought of having a picnic on the beach in the Liberio internment zone had been unthinkable. 

“I’d like to hang out with you. But I don’t have any food to eat.” Udo and Zofia both glanced down at their pockets and started pulling out crushed small bills and coins. Reiner shook his head. “No, no… you don’t need to pay for me. Let’s go get me something to eat with you, okay?” 

“Okay!” The two of them said, both of them standing up and following behind Reiner while he walked. Udo and Zofia started to gravitate towards an interesting looking store with lots of adults standing outside of it. Reiner noticed their slowed walking and looked where they were staring. 

“Hey… I already told you guys that you’re not old enough to go in that store.” He was sure they already knew what sex was, but they weren’t going anywhere near that place if he had anything to say about it. Udo and Zofia sheepishly nodded and followed behind him to the small store close to the coastline. 

“Oooh, Zofia…” Udo and Zofia started mindlessly drifting away from Reiner, looking at the trinkets and candy lining the shop. Reiner smiled to himself and had a sandwich made for himself. He grabbed a glass bottle of ginger beer and a piece of fruit. Reiner went to pay for the food, then noticed Udo and Zofia behind him in line with a little bit of candy. Udo had three glass bottles with him and a goofy smile on his face when Reiner raised a brow. 

“…Here. Put your stuff here and put your money back. Get yourselves a little more candy.” Udo and Zofia excitedly put their stuff up, then went and came back with bags full of saltwater taffy. Reiner gave them a look, getting two innocent smiles in return. Reiner took them and paid for everything, then gave Udo and Zofia their snacks. “What are the glass bottles for, Udo?” 

“I’ll show you at the beach!” Udo said, Reiner nodding. The two of them followed Reiner to the beach, the three of them sitting down on the blanket in Zofia’s basket. Udo and Zofia got their food out of Udo’s basket, then started eating. Reiner was truthfully surprised at how much taffy the two of them had bought. Would they be able to even dent the amount of taffy they had after they ate their food? 

The answer to that was no. They ate a lot, but Udo and Zofia found themselves full. They dumped their taffy back into Udo’s basket and laid back onto the blanket, staring at the sky. “What were the bottles for, Udo?” 

“Oh! I almost forgot!” Udo sat up quickly, then got the three glass bottles. He handed one to Zofia and one to Reiner, putting the other in his lap. He grabbed a pencil and some paper from in his basket and brought them out. “I wanted to make wish bottles!” 

“Wish bottles?” Zofia asked, her accepting the pencil and paper when Udo handed them to her. “What are those?” Reiner looked at the paper in his hand and accepted the small pencil. They were very short; Udo must have been using them a lot. “What’s a wish bottle?” 

“In my original home, far away, there was an old story my parents used to tell me. You write your wish on a piece of paper, then put it in a bottle. If the ocean washes it away, your wish will come true someday.” 

“Did your wish come true?” Reiner asked, him fidgeting with his pencil while Udo and Zofia started writing their wishes on the paper. Udo looked at Reiner and gave him a smile. 

“Well, not yet. Last time I did a wish bottle, I wished for a really pretty girlfriend!” Reiner and Zofia let out belly laughs at that, Udo chewing on his cheek and crossing his arms. “Hey… that isn’t funny.” 

“It isn’t funny, Udo. I think it’s sweet. I’m sure you’ll get a really pretty girlfriend.” Reiner reached a hand over and tousled his hair. Udo still frowned at Reiner and went back to writing his wish on the paper. Reiner wrote a wish and looked at his paper. 

To walk side-by-side with Bertholdt again. Pretty simple. He desperately missed his best friend. Surely he and Bertholdt would be puttering around the boardwalk and eating saltwater taffy if they got the chance to be born again one day. 

“Okay, now put the corks in and throw your bottles into the ocean! If the ocean washes away your wish, it will come true one day! For sure!” Udo made a beeline to the shore, walking out into the water. He grunted when he threw the bottle as hard as he could, the bottle starting to drift away. Reiner and Zofia followed after him, the two of them tossing their bottles. 

“The ocean is taking them all away…” Reiner stood beside Udo and Zofia, the three of them watching all their wishes fade away into the distance. 

“Well that means all of our wishes will come true one day! Don’t tell anyone what your wish is until you're sure it's gone, or it won’t come true.” Udo said. Zofia and Reiner nodded, then went back to the blanket they’d been sitting on. 

Reiner smiled to himself when Udo and Zofia once again tore into the taffy he’d bought them. They’d never finish the taffy, but they were determined to make an effort. 

  


“Are you going to be okay?” Pieck’s attempt to be comforting didn't make him feel any better. The words felt like they were a mile away. Reiner buried his head into his hands; it felt like the wind had been knocked out of him. He couldn’t help but want to pull his hair out, and he felt intense discomfort when his eyes started burning. 

“No.” Reiner said bluntly, just wanting to kick Pieck off from hugging his backside. Porco had left when the subject came up; he was very upset as well. Said he needed to go get some air and smoke a cigarette. “Both of them?” 

“Yes... I’m sorry, Reiner.” She wanted to tell him they didn’t suffer. And truthfully, Zofia didn’t suffer. She’d been squashed flat in an instant, probably didn’t even have time to process what was going on and what was about to happen. She’d been crushed almost immediately after that wretched Jaeger had eaten Willy Tybur. 

But telling Reiner that Zofia didn’t suffer would indirectly confirm to him that Udo _did_ suffer. He’d been terrified, trampled, didn’t die instantly and was likely in great pain before he finally lost consciousness. And Pieck just _couldn’t_ lie about something like that, couldn’t tell Reiner that they didn’t suffer. 

“Have they found Gabi and Falco’s bodies…?” Reiner asked blearily. Pieck bit her lip and shook her head. Reiner watched her with tired eyes, and she could see the tears welling up. Reiner was going to have a breakdown later, Pieck was absolutely sure. Hell, Porco had broken down and cried over the loss of the cadets in private. 

“No. Some soldiers think they may have been kidnapped by the islanders but we don’t have any confirmation. But as much cleanup that’s happened, I think it’s unlikely their bodies are going to show up.” Reiner didn’t nod, didn’t shake his head, didn’t look at her. He was blankly staring at the wall, his shoulders slumped forward. Pieck watched Reiner’s adam’s apple bob when he swallowed, followed by the sound of him exhaling through his nose. 

“Pieck. Please leave.” Reiner got out, him falling back into his bed and pulling the covers up to his shoulders. He wrapped the covers around himself tightly and turned away so he was facing the wall. Reiner let out a grunt whenever Pieck squeezed his shoulder, then closed his eyes whenever he heard the door close behind him. 

Udo and Zofia, both dead. Zofia, crushed by rubble from the apartment building he and Eren had talked underneath. Udo, trampled to death by the panicking crowd. What terrible ways to die. They must have been absolutely terrified… especially little Udo. He always did get nervous and start panicking. 

“Why…?” Reiner mumbled to himself, wrapping the blankets tighter against him. He curled up and breathed in deeply, then choked out a sob. “Why?” 

He was to blame, truth be told. Eren attacked Liberio as retaliation for what happened in Shinganshina close to a decade ago. Bertholdt and Annie both wanted to retreat, and _he_ was the one that made that happen. If he hadn’t knocked down Wall Maria, Eren wouldn’t have done what he did. And if Eren never attacked Liberio, Udo and Zofia would still be alive. 

He could add Udo and Zofia to the list of people who were dead because of him. Two of his children, his only reason for living. Bertholdt, his best friend and the only one in this godforsaken world that understood him. Marcel, their leader who stupidly thought he was worth saving. Hundreds of thousands of civilians who died by titan. Countless civilians and soldiers who opposed Marley. 

Were Gabi and Falco even still alive? He desperately clung to the hope they were. For them to still be alive… they had to be. 

“Udo, Zofia…” Reiner remembered their day on the beach, then squeezed his eyes shut and let himself sob into his blankets. Did their wishes come true before they died? Or was it just a dumb kid’s story? It didn’t even matter. 

He went into autopilot once he was able to bring himself to get out of bed. Bertholdt was dead, it was absolutely confirmed now. So any wish of his to walk side-by-side with Bertholdt again was gone. Udo and Zofia were dead. Gabi and Falco were missing. 

Those kids were his reason for living. His whole chest hurt all day every day, but he knew nothing was wrong with him physically. Being a shifter meant physically he stayed healthy. 

All he wanted was to die in peace. Would that free him? Let him be with Bertholdt? Udo? Zofia? 

The days after learning of Bertholdt, Udo and Zofia’s deaths were a blur. All Reiner knew was it hurt terribly. His comfort for the pain of everything that happened on Paradis were his kids, and all four were gone. 

Reiner made his way to his room in the military barracks. He didn’t always stay there, usually staying with his family. But he couldn’t bring himself to do it. Once he was in his room, he closed the door behind him and grabbed his chair. He took the chair to the middle of the room. He lit a cigarette and closed his eyes, taking in the pleasant burn and the flavor of the tobacco. 

After finishing his cigarette, Reiner took a drink from the flask he kept in his drawer. It burned going down, but it made him feel better. Reiner went to the bag he’d brought and took the rope, then tied a knot into it. 

Shooting himself meant whoever found him would see untold carnage. It’d probably be Magath… or Pieck or Porco. But even them he didn’t want to subject to such a terrible sight. It would be harrowing to find him hanging… but not as bad as finding him with his head blown off and blood spatter everywhere. 

Reiner finished off the alcohol in his flask, then smoked another cigarette. Once he was finished, he stood back on the chair and put the rope around his neck. He breathed in deeply, then felt tears dripping down his cheeks. 

It was almost over. If he died, there wasn’t even a chance Gabi would get his armored titan. Perhaps she’d be free someday, in a world where she wasn’t spit on for being an Eldian. And finally… _finally_ he’d be free from this hell. Maybe even see Bertholdt again. And Udo, and Zofia. 

Reiner closed his eyes and stepped forward, him falling and feeling an unbearable pain in his neck. He couldn’t help but struggle; his entire body thrashed, but eventually he found his consciousness fading away. Bright spots came into his vision until he finally fell unconscious. 

  


“Braun? Have you seen the reports from the military? They’re talking about possibly looking into invading Paradis, and I know you’re more knowledgeable on all that.” Porco frowned, then rolled his eyes when Reiner didn’t answer. He’d gone to Reiner’s family home looking for him, but Reiner’s mother said he wasn’t there and stayed at the barracks. “Braun! I know you’re in there. I know things have been hard lately, but…” 

Porco gasped when he opened the door. Reiner was on the floor with a rope around his neck. He went next to his comrade and squatted, examining the break in the rope. 

Looks like Reiner tried to hang himself, then the rope snapped in half at some point. Any injuries Reiner would’ve sustained would’ve healed from him being a shifter. There weren’t even any bruises on his neck. Just to be sure, Porco took his fingers and checked Reiner’s pulse. Of course there was a pulse; Reiner was breathing steadily. He was very much alive. 

No telling how he’d be once he woke back up. Reiner trying to kill himself… Porco wasn’t sure how to respond. Reiner had definitely been acting… _off_ lately. Confirmation of Bertholdt’s death, along with Udo and Zofia’s deaths… and Reiner was hiding _something_ because he kept getting nervous every time Paradis came up. 

Porco ran a hand through his hair, then moved to take the rope off of his neck. Porco shook his head and pulled back the covers on Reiner’s bed, then stripped off Reiner’s coat and shirt. He took off Reiner’s shoes and socks. Reiner was heavy, but still Porco grunted and lifted up Reiner’s body. He carried Reiner to his bed and tucked him in. 

“What do we do, Pieck?” Porco asked, both of them now in Reiner’s room. Pieck ran a thumb along the back of Reiner’s hand, her holding onto Reiner. If they didn’t know Reiner tried to kill himself, they’d think he were just in a deep sleep. “We can’t tell Magath. They’d strip him of his titan for sure.” 

“No, they wouldn’t. …There aren’t any warrior candidates left to even give the armored to. And even if there were, we don't have time to train a new warrior.” Porco frowned because he knew Pieck was right. There wasn’t even anyone to inherit any titan anymore. Maybe Colt? But they were dead set on apprehending Zeke and Colt would get the beast. 

“He won’t talk. Or share his feelings. I wonder what’s going on inside for him?” Porco thought out loud, watching Reiner breathe. His face twitched, then a smile made its way onto Reiner’s sleeping face. Pieck watched him blankly. “I think… I understand him a little more now. Those monsters that attacked Liberio. They were the ones he stayed with all those years? It must’ve been hell.” 

“Well… whatever he’s dreaming about right now is nice, at least. Let’s let him rest for now. And stay wherever he is that he can be happy, even if it’s just for a few minutes.” 

  


_“Reiner! I want some candy floss!” Zofia said, her making her way to the clouds of sugar nearby. All sorts of colors were available, but Zofia seemed to want the blue candy floss. Reiner shook his head and handed over some coins to the vendor, then took Zofia’s hand. “Udo told me he was going to win me a plush toy at the games stall.”_

_“Did he now? Why might he do that?” Reiner gave Zofia a teasing look while they walked. “Did Udo’s wish come true? Did he get a pretty girlfriend?” Zofia stuttered, her face turning pink at Reiner’s teasing._

_“N-no! I’m not his girlfriend!” Zofia got out, Reiner laughing and shaking his head._

_“I never said you were.” Zofia looked away while they walked, until they made their way to the games stall. Udo had a stuffed bear in his hand, him handing it over to Zofia. Bertholdt stood behind Udo, a knowing smile on his face. “Did you win that, Udo?”_

_“No, obviously Bertholdt won it for him. I can see the bears at the shooting game.” Zofia said, though she still accepted the bear with a smile. Udo scratched his head and blushed, but Bertholdt gave a somewhat patronizing look to Zofia._

_“Don’t think your little boyfriend can win you a prize?” Bertholdt caught Reiner’s eye and winked. He definitely won the toy for Udo. Reiner gave his friend a knowing smile and shook his head. Udo and Zofia started bickering with Bertholdt, but Reiner didn’t mind._

_He had the three of them, and he was happy._

**Author's Note:**

> I love Udo and Zofia so much. It's a shame the fandom seems to have forgotten about them...   
> I'll write something happy for them some time. 
> 
> Until next time! Thanks for reading my fics, I know I say this every time but it means a lot to me.


End file.
